The Filipino is worth dying for - As on the 500PHP note

And yes, they absolutely are. What a special place. I've spent some time thinking about how I'm going to manage this post, about how to fit so much into words, and about where to try and stop. The fact is, I have to accept defeat here - there just isn't a good way to do it.

So, below, absolutely verbatim (plus Ed notes), is what I wrote down while I was on holiday recently in Malapascua, the Philippines, doing my PADI Open Water certification. Excuse the excess of adjectives and adverbs - I was lightheaded, and I'm not going to try edit this into something approaching decent writing.

Terrible check-in with Cebu Pacific. 8 People, 3 counters, 20 minutes. People pissing about, sitting and watching nothing, doing nothing. 2 cust service reps finally, me on the verge of explosion; one steps in and directs me to a closed queue, where one minute later I'm checked in, with many sorries and excuses. Not impressed. Regardless, the plane is comfortable, and the hostesses are very gentle on the eye. Now, down to study for the course. (ED: My other flights with Cebu Pacific were actually very good, so I'm willing to overlook the initial issue and say they're a good low-fare option)

I understand why my students said they were worried I wouldn't come back - the girls here are gorgeous, and they add buckets of sex appeal, something most Ch girls I've met lack.

I'm a little concerned re: my blood pressure. I should have gotten my arse in gear and found an English doctor before coming through.

Angry security guard at Manilla airport passport control, to some Chinese tourists "You shouldn't be travelling if you can't speak English! Go over there and learn English, then you can come back".

Great taxi driver to hotel in Cebu - slowest driver in the world. He drove at around 30, breaking every time he saw another car. But he taught me some basic phrases in Visayan, the local lingo.

Tonight, sitting at a small italian restaurant, glass of decent red wine, and some appertif that is very italian. A great moment.

Back at the hotel, checking in, an American comes down the stairs with "his girlfriend" in tow, has called a cab. Comes back in two minutes later, sans prostitute. Receptionist stared daggers, she was visibly upset. But her and I had a laugh about it, and now I think I'm in love. This feeling may be recurrent for the next week (ED: It absolutely was. Many many times).

Filipino brides weight heavy on my mine. Terrible that such beautiful and friendly people end up having to marry ugly foreigners for money.

Many buildings and structures with "Donated by...." on the side. Donors - individuals, governments, etc.

Teacher Lee. A freakishly friendly woman I sat with on the bus from Cebu to Maya. I now know her whole life story. 6 kids, in various professions (2 teachers, 1 engineer, 1 computer scientist of some sort, 1 still in school, 1 unmentioned); husband works on another island, I got the feeling she doesn't really always approve of him (he wasn't her sweetheart), but God in His wisdom chooses our marriage, and marriage is like death - when it knocks, you can't keep the door closed. A fantastic woman.

Jason and Jamie - an awesome Chinese couple, heading to the same island as me. Live in Guangzhou, and my first new people I've met that I'll keep in good touch with.

First dive "You'll never forget the first time you breathe under water", according to PADI. Well, I've forgotten it already. Spent so much time and energy watching my instructor, I didn't notice anything else. The first proper dive (open water 1) also went by in a blur.

Very strange sensations all through the night, feel like I'm sitting under water. Body is kind of floating and bobbing. I remember this same feeling when I started rowing - not being comfortable on land afterwards. (ED: It's been six days now since my first time under, and four since my last, and I still feel like I'm kind of bobbing around)

Island life is very differet. So many things we don't even think about, are a real mess here. But it's very peaceful.

Third open water dive was the first one I've really enjoyed - had a little more confidence, relaxed, looked around. Saw a sea snake - black and pale blue hoops (ED: I think this one). Gorgeous. Apparently lethal, but beautiful - must be a woman. I am feeling more comfortable with bouyancy as well.

Unfortunately, no shark dive for me, due to blood pressure concerns. Safety first. Have to spend some time and money with a dive doctor in China first.

One dive away from certification as a PADI Open Water diver. Feeling confident. The theory tests were all too easy, but there is a difference between testing and underwater application, of course.

AAAAnnnnd, I'm certified. The last dive was incredibly easy, although I wasn't happy with my CESA (Controlled Emergency Safety Ascent), but Simon, my instructor, seemed happy with it, so ok.

On the boat ride back, "I'm busy doing something that needs concentration" Zak went for a walk (or a swim), and I don't think Simon knew what to do when I suddenly started talking. So now, I have two more days here, no more money, and no real idea of what to do. Discussion of a night dive tomorrow (I get credit towards my advanced open water), but we'll see.

Tonight, I think I'm going to drink till I die.

Fantastic night last night. Ended up with a Frenchman and a Swede, behind the bar, serving the "Ficus", a terrible concoction developed some time during the night, which everybody tried once, and few came back for. Only slight taint on the evening was that my cell phone was stolen. I gave all of my stuff (camera, wallet, phone) to a stunning German girl, Nicole, while I tried to commit suicide by sprinting 600m down the beach to fetch some more money from my hotel room. When I came back, no more phone. I don't really care, but for that she felt bad, and I think it rather ruined her evening it a bit.

Woke today feeling like a speared fish - alive, but not glad to be. Elected to spend the day exploring the island, a decision which was quickly changed by some arm twisting from others (the Frenchman, Swede, and friends) - I joined them on their day-long dive trip. Unfortunately, they were going deeper that my known limit, so I had to content myself with snorkeling. It was strange for me to jump into the middle of the ocean and swim around, but comfortable, which is a big change for me. Unfortunately, after diving, snorkeling falls a distant second. A fulfilling day though, regardless.

Spent some time on an extended sand bar - photos floating around of us walking on water.

When looking at the photos that night, one of the Filipino dive guys called me "The lonely man". Touche.

And so now I spend my last day on this lovely island. Phillip and Nila, Cyril and Maryanne, magical Abbie, Rose, and their pretty mocking friend have all left today. I walked around the island, chewing up sites, before retiring to Sunsplash for a hearty meal, mango juice, and as the afternoon wears on, beer. Tomorrow morning, 6 am, I catch a boat, then a taxi, then two planes, then a bus, then another taxi, and by tomorrow night I will be firmly back in China, very grateful for this life I live.

In the end, it wasn't quite that easy to get home - but the delay was the only real way to end a perfect holiday.

For pics of the holiday, see my Picasaweb album