Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Narrator: When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake.

Night number two. Considering I'm well known for falling asleep at the drop of a hat, this is... unusual.

But it's not the first time it's happened, so I don't know why I'm surprised.

The hours between 2 and 6, are almost quiet here. As quiet as the streets of small town China ever get. So, basically, nobody seems to be hooting. Not a lot of traffic.

Sat on the balcony a few hours ago and watched three guys walking home in the middle of the street. If you know what to watch for, even from 17 stories up you can spot a seasoned drinker. No stagger, no real sway, no arms out balancing himself. But a definite gentle drift left and right as he proceeds down the road, happily marinading.

A little dread creeping in at the thought of having to face the day. Had our Halloween party for the kids tonight, which had some glitches. Personal responsibility a tough call here, but the buck stops with me. So tomorrow, today, time to speak to people, find out what went wrong, fix things for future.

Strange role, this one of transient manager. It's about building something, constructing a foundation and then a base and then a platform and then a skyscraper on top. But you've really only got a year to do it. Easier to keep the status quo. Except our status quo can improve. Have to improve it, knowing that there's only a year to do it. Less, now. Ten months. And then it's all up to somebody else to change it again.

Thoughts are weird when you can't sleep - they all come at once, and you just try to grab a tail of one as they swish through your head. Once you've got the tail though... then what? Hang on tight and see where it leads? For me, these days, nowhere. Bad bad lack of thinking ability.

Time to go, try force some shut-eye before assaulting the day.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

The party itself

Having written that post about the wonderful people I work with, perhaps I should also tell you about the party itself.

All of the language department came, Chinese and Western, which was great.

We started the evening at a beer hall type place, which had incredible food and beer. And beer. And some beer. And food. Good good food. Yes, ladies and gents, I am the master of the adjective.

Anyway, this place is fantastic. They do beer in five flavours - grape, pineapple, coffee, bitter melon, and (thank god) standard. I tried them all, and they were not as good as you might think. Except for the standard. Which was.

At the end of the dinner, the western staff gave me what up until then was the best present I've ever received - a braai! If you're reading this from back home, believe me, you don't know how much you miss a braai until you miss a braai. Dammit. I think I may have cried a little bit in the restaurant.

From the beer hall, we wandered to a club, where we danced and drank and did some other stuff I don't really remember. The club is basically a series of short clips in my memory - nothing concrete, and the story doesn't really make sense. It's a bit like watching a Tarentino film.

Finally, ended the evening (for me) at the dorm, where the guys gave me the video featured in the earlier clip. I may have cried a little more when I saw that. I then fell asleep on the couch, as is my wont (evidenced in the party invite), and Rodd put his balls on my head, following which Emma squashed her boobs into my face. Photos are great.

Rodd and Emma then walked me home, which I don't remember at all, but apparently that included me trying to abduct some random Chinese bloke, who couldn't free himself from my vice-like grip and had to get the others to pull me off him, and threatening to do unspeakable things to my housemates door.

Yes, ladies, that's me - classy all the way.

What makes life extra special.

In a word, people.

And now, after that great opening line, words, those bastards, fail me. I want to say how special people are, and how lucky I have been to know the people I know, and a whole lot more besides. But I've written the paragraph innumerable times now, and it always sounds... less than it should.

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. I no longer live in the country I was born and grew up in, and so of course my group of friends that I could feasibly invite to a party is smaller. For those who don't know me, I love birthday parties. They are a wonderful excuse to get together with a group of people I like, and every year I try to have a goodie.

As mentioned in an earlier post, I had booked a brewery in SA for my 30th, some years ago, but my life had different ideas. Instead, I'm in a country where I don't speak the language, with a group of people I didn't choose, doing a job I'm really starting to doubt I'm any good at, and... and here is where luck comes in. I kind of feel that it's not fair, how many good people I know, and how good they are. And now, this group I didn't choose, it just so happens that they're great as well, and that they really made my 30th a night to remember. I mean, come on - is there bad news around the corner, or am I just living a charmed life?

The summary of it is that I work with some fantastic people, who, over the last god knows how long, have been skiving off work and making the following, as a birthday present for me.


So how do I put into words how I feel right now?

Thursday, 23 October 2008

I want to sit and cry

As I write this post, I have just come out of teaching my M1A class. That's the first year of middle school, so the kids are about 13 years old.

One of the lads, Peter, a good kid, had left the class and joined another class, because he's moved schools... You know what, I'm doing this arse about face.

In China, schools are graded - kind of like the prestige that we assign schools, but formal - and among the best schools (certainly in Huizhou) are boarding schools. Not, however, like the boarding schools we know back home. In these schools, you live at the school 6 days a week, you have to get a special pass to leave for any reason at all, and all of the students live there. Their entire lives are regulated according to the schedule of the school. Ok, so maybe a bit like boarding school back home. When kids go to these schools, it means that they are only allowed out from Saturday afternoon until Sunday midday, and so they can't come to us for their usual mid-week lesson. We therefore have special once-a-week classes that last 90 minutes, which they come to.

Anyway, back to Peter, and the reason for this deep funk I find myself in. Peter had left our class because he moved to one of these schools, but he found the new class too easy, and so his mother made a special arrangement with the school to allow him to come to class mid-week with us.

Today, Peter hadn't done his homework. Why not? Well, Mr. Wood, at my school we have to study schoolwork until 10pm, and then it's lights out, no option. But that's not enough time to finish all of our homework for school, so we get up at 5am to try and finish it before 6am, at which time we have breakfast (during which we have to read), and then start school. At school, we break for lunch, and dinner, and otherwise we are in class or doing homework.

I want you to think about this. Peter, who is THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD, works almost all of his 17 hour day, 6 days a week.

I can't remember when last I felt so gutted.

The big three oh

So, the party is arranged (more or less), the venue is booked (more or less), and the whole thing is happening on Sunday night (more), and some on Monday (also more).

This being my 30th, I thought it behooved (behove?) me to create a magnificent, daring, exquisite, sublime invitation. Thank heavens I'm so creative.

My attempt, which will have to do in lei of the above, below.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Good South African Blogging

This guy has become one of my favourite blogs to follow. Have a look.

Wednesday, 08 October 2008

The Filipino is worth dying for - As on the 500PHP note

And yes, they absolutely are. What a special place. I've spent some time thinking about how I'm going to manage this post, about how to fit so much into words, and about where to try and stop. The fact is, I have to accept defeat here - there just isn't a good way to do it.

So, below, absolutely verbatim (plus Ed notes), is what I wrote down while I was on holiday recently in Malapascua, the Philippines, doing my PADI Open Water certification. Excuse the excess of adjectives and adverbs - I was lightheaded, and I'm not going to try edit this into something approaching decent writing.

Terrible check-in with Cebu Pacific. 8 People, 3 counters, 20 minutes. People pissing about, sitting and watching nothing, doing nothing. 2 cust service reps finally, me on the verge of explosion; one steps in and directs me to a closed queue, where one minute later I'm checked in, with many sorries and excuses. Not impressed. Regardless, the plane is comfortable, and the hostesses are very gentle on the eye. Now, down to study for the course. (ED: My other flights with Cebu Pacific were actually very good, so I'm willing to overlook the initial issue and say they're a good low-fare option)

I understand why my students said they were worried I wouldn't come back - the girls here are gorgeous, and they add buckets of sex appeal, something most Ch girls I've met lack.

I'm a little concerned re: my blood pressure. I should have gotten my arse in gear and found an English doctor before coming through.

Angry security guard at Manilla airport passport control, to some Chinese tourists "You shouldn't be travelling if you can't speak English! Go over there and learn English, then you can come back".

Great taxi driver to hotel in Cebu - slowest driver in the world. He drove at around 30, breaking every time he saw another car. But he taught me some basic phrases in Visayan, the local lingo.

Tonight, sitting at a small italian restaurant, glass of decent red wine, and some appertif that is very italian. A great moment.

Back at the hotel, checking in, an American comes down the stairs with "his girlfriend" in tow, has called a cab. Comes back in two minutes later, sans prostitute. Receptionist stared daggers, she was visibly upset. But her and I had a laugh about it, and now I think I'm in love. This feeling may be recurrent for the next week (ED: It absolutely was. Many many times).

Filipino brides weight heavy on my mine. Terrible that such beautiful and friendly people end up having to marry ugly foreigners for money.

Many buildings and structures with "Donated by...." on the side. Donors - individuals, governments, etc.

Teacher Lee. A freakishly friendly woman I sat with on the bus from Cebu to Maya. I now know her whole life story. 6 kids, in various professions (2 teachers, 1 engineer, 1 computer scientist of some sort, 1 still in school, 1 unmentioned); husband works on another island, I got the feeling she doesn't really always approve of him (he wasn't her sweetheart), but God in His wisdom chooses our marriage, and marriage is like death - when it knocks, you can't keep the door closed. A fantastic woman.

Jason and Jamie - an awesome Chinese couple, heading to the same island as me. Live in Guangzhou, and my first new people I've met that I'll keep in good touch with.

First dive "You'll never forget the first time you breathe under water", according to PADI. Well, I've forgotten it already. Spent so much time and energy watching my instructor, I didn't notice anything else. The first proper dive (open water 1) also went by in a blur.

Very strange sensations all through the night, feel like I'm sitting under water. Body is kind of floating and bobbing. I remember this same feeling when I started rowing - not being comfortable on land afterwards. (ED: It's been six days now since my first time under, and four since my last, and I still feel like I'm kind of bobbing around)

Island life is very differet. So many things we don't even think about, are a real mess here. But it's very peaceful.

Third open water dive was the first one I've really enjoyed - had a little more confidence, relaxed, looked around. Saw a sea snake - black and pale blue hoops (ED: I think this one). Gorgeous. Apparently lethal, but beautiful - must be a woman. I am feeling more comfortable with bouyancy as well.

Unfortunately, no shark dive for me, due to blood pressure concerns. Safety first. Have to spend some time and money with a dive doctor in China first.

One dive away from certification as a PADI Open Water diver. Feeling confident. The theory tests were all too easy, but there is a difference between testing and underwater application, of course.

AAAAnnnnd, I'm certified. The last dive was incredibly easy, although I wasn't happy with my CESA (Controlled Emergency Safety Ascent), but Simon, my instructor, seemed happy with it, so ok.

On the boat ride back, "I'm busy doing something that needs concentration" Zak went for a walk (or a swim), and I don't think Simon knew what to do when I suddenly started talking. So now, I have two more days here, no more money, and no real idea of what to do. Discussion of a night dive tomorrow (I get credit towards my advanced open water), but we'll see.

Tonight, I think I'm going to drink till I die.

Fantastic night last night. Ended up with a Frenchman and a Swede, behind the bar, serving the "Ficus", a terrible concoction developed some time during the night, which everybody tried once, and few came back for. Only slight taint on the evening was that my cell phone was stolen. I gave all of my stuff (camera, wallet, phone) to a stunning German girl, Nicole, while I tried to commit suicide by sprinting 600m down the beach to fetch some more money from my hotel room. When I came back, no more phone. I don't really care, but for that she felt bad, and I think it rather ruined her evening it a bit.

Woke today feeling like a speared fish - alive, but not glad to be. Elected to spend the day exploring the island, a decision which was quickly changed by some arm twisting from others (the Frenchman, Swede, and friends) - I joined them on their day-long dive trip. Unfortunately, they were going deeper that my known limit, so I had to content myself with snorkeling. It was strange for me to jump into the middle of the ocean and swim around, but comfortable, which is a big change for me. Unfortunately, after diving, snorkeling falls a distant second. A fulfilling day though, regardless.

Spent some time on an extended sand bar - photos floating around of us walking on water.

When looking at the photos that night, one of the Filipino dive guys called me "The lonely man". Touche.

And so now I spend my last day on this lovely island. Phillip and Nila, Cyril and Maryanne, magical Abbie, Rose, and their pretty mocking friend have all left today. I walked around the island, chewing up sites, before retiring to Sunsplash for a hearty meal, mango juice, and as the afternoon wears on, beer. Tomorrow morning, 6 am, I catch a boat, then a taxi, then two planes, then a bus, then another taxi, and by tomorrow night I will be firmly back in China, very grateful for this life I live.

In the end, it wasn't quite that easy to get home - but the delay was the only real way to end a perfect holiday.

For pics of the holiday, see my Picasaweb album